5 Powerful Strategies for Resolving Employee Conflict in Restaurants

I recently visited a popular neighborhood restaurant, and was concerned to find my favorite bartender in an extremely bad mood. It was all over an egg.

When I asked him to elaborate, Josh (the bartender) explained that he had allowed a guest to add a fried egg to his burger – a topping that was not on the menu but readily available. The restaurant was empty, so it wasn’t a big deal to honor this special request. But when Josh submitted the order, the kitchen refused to accommodate…

Josh: “We have eggs, the system lets me add the egg… Why can’t you cook an egg?

Chef: “I’m not making an egg! That’s not part of the dish!”

Josh: “I asked and the manager said we can add an egg!”

Chef: “Well my manager said I don’t have to, so I’m not!”

The rest of the evening, Josh stomped around, complaining to me and anyone who would listen about the ridiculous red tape surrounding the fried egg: “We charge $20 for a burger and we can’t fry an egg??” He even offered to go fry the egg himself. He was so upset that he couldn’t go the extra mile for his guest. He was even more upset that his coworkers didn’t back him up.

The whole situation got me thinking… How did this egg scandal escalate so quickly? And why did two different managers give two different answers regarding the same request? This could have been resolved with active listening and thoughtful conflict management. Or better yet, it could have been prevented by setting some ground rules so everyone was on the same page from the start.

Josh is a dedicated, hard-working employee that any restaurant would be lucky to have, so it was upsetting to see him near tears when he was just trying to do his job well. Interpersonal work issues make employees feel uncomfortable and unmotivated.

That negative energy translates to the guest experience, as well.

Don’t let a fried egg – or any other similar squabble – grow into something that rattles your team’s morale. No issue is too big or too small to address, because seemingly silly disagreements can quickly snowball into defensive and aggressive behavior from employees.

Try one of the powerful problem-solving methods below to squash conflict and get your staff acting like a team again.

1.   Structured Mediation

Step-by-Step mediation can come in a variety of forms, like group discussions, private problem solving, team-building exercises and more. Whatever way you choose to handle mediation, it’s helpful to have a plan in place before conflict comes up:

• First, gather relevant information and understand the context of the conflict.
• The mediator, which can be a manager or shift supervisor, sets the tone, explaining the process and emphasizing confidentiality and respect.
• Each party shares their perspective without interruption. The mediator then summarizes the key issues and areas of agreement or disagreement.
• Brainstorm solutions collaboratively, considering each party’s needs and interests. The team can come up with a mutually acceptable agreement from here.
• Set follow-up meetings to ensure the problem has truly been resolved and doesn’t leak into other work duties.

TIP: Consider hiring external third-party mediators. Bringing in a professional mediator who is not affiliated with the restaurant can provide unbiased guidance and solutions.

2.   Conflict Coaching and Role Playing

The common first step in dealing with an unhappy guest is to listen, and the same goes for unhappy staff. Meeting with staff members individually keeps conversations calm because the employee has a chance to air out grievances with a neutral party first. Try…

• One-on-One Coaching: Providing individualized coaching to employees involved in conflicts can help them understand their own behaviors and develop better conflict resolution skills.
• Role-Playing Scenarios: Practicing conflict situations in a controlled environment to build confidence and competence in managing real-life conflicts.
• Simulated Conflict Scenarios: Using real-life scenarios and simulations to practice and refine conflict resolution strategies.
• Feedback Sessions: Implementing systems where employees can anonymously report concerns allows management to address issues proactively. Try holding regular feedback sessions where employees can provide input on workplace dynamics.

TIP: Peer mediation programs can empower selected employees to act as mediators. These leadership roles will help manage conflicts, and those filling them will develop a sense of ownership and responsibility within the team.

3.   Preventative Workshops

When companies put effort into preventing conflicts, it can save a lot of future hassle and hurt feelings, and it can definitely help with employee retention. Conflict prevention workshops should involve activities promoting clear communication channels:

• Establish multiple communication channels like suggestion boxes and regular meetings dedicated to ensuring employees feel heard and valued.
• Organize activities that promote trust and camaraderie, reducing the likelihood of conflicts.
• Prioritize team building games and outings so there’s a shared bond between coworkers. This way when problems do arise, they can work from a place of trust.
• Do all employees understand conflict resolution policies and procedures? Make these guidelines transparent and available so the team feels confident in their implementation.

TIP: Celebrate successes with recognition and rewards. Acknowledge employees who demonstrate excellent conflict resolution skills or contribute positively to the team dynamic. Team successes and milestones should be celebrated in a collaborative work environment.

4.   Emotional Intelligence Training

Understanding and managing one’s emotions in order to successfully navigate interpersonal relationships is the key to emotional intelligence – and the key to unlocking healthy coworker relationships.

• Self-Awareness exercises are a great tool that helps encourage employees to reflect on their emotions and reactions in conflict situations.
• Empathy development training will help employees to understand and empathize with others’ perspectives, which can reduce misunderstandings and foster cooperation.
• Hold restorative circles where all parties involved in the conflict, including bystanders, discuss the impact of the conflict. This leads to vulnerability, dropped defenses, and eventually acceptance as employees share their feelings and work together to find solutions.

TIP: Don’t underestimate the power of empathy. Often, those working in high-pressure environments are not aware of how their peers can take bad moods personally. Frustration from stressors like upset guests and incorrect plating can easily be misdirected at fellow employees. But when colleagues share their struggles with coworkers instead of misdirecting their anger at them, the team can support each other more constructively.

5.   Wellness Programs

Wellness programs have become popular workplace offerings that support employees’ mental and physical health. Unfortunately the service industry is lean on these key offerings because of the nature of managing part-time hourly employees. Regardless of the job, companies can and should offer workshops on stress management techniques, such as mindfulness, yoga, or time management.

Promoting wellness starts with understanding common sources of stress in the service industry:

• Communication Issues
  • Misunderstandings and miscommunications
  • Lack of clear instructions or feedback
• Personality Clashes
  • Differences in work styles and personalities
• Workload and Stress
  • High-pressure environment and long hours
  • Unequal distribution of tasks
• Competition and Ambition
  • Competition for shifts, roles, or tips

Mental health support is essential in today’s bustling world, especially now that mental health is being discussed in new, courageous ways. Restaurants should provide their staff access to mental health resources, such as counseling services or employee assistance programs.

TIP: Promote work-life balance and fair scheduling practices. Advocating for employees before issues boil over into interpersonal fighting will go a long way with reducing stress.

Implement effective mediation strategies today to invest in a successful, stress-free future. By taking control of conflict management in restaurants, companies help to create a more harmonious and productive workplace.